5 Years a Diabetic, Where Did The Time Go? 


This week I celebrated my 5 year Diaversary.  I can’t believe it has already been five years.  I’d like to ask where did the time go, but I know exactly where it went.:

  • 1 visit to the ER. 
  • Over 9125 finger pokes.
  • Over 10,950 insulin injections/inhalations.
  • Hundreds of Jelly Belly Jelly Beans (my quick sugar of choice when treating a low BS)
  • 2 Research Studies.
  • Over 20 blood draws and endo appointments.
  • 5 glucose meters
  • 3 generations of Dexom Continuous Glucose monitors. 
  • 7 different insulins.
  • Over 350 followers on Instagram @cutthebsgirl.
  • Over 400 Likes on the Cut the BS Facebook Page.
  • Over 45 blog posts with over 2300 visits to the Cut The BS Blog. 
  • 1 5K run completed…slowly but complete! 
  • 4 JDRF OneWalks walked and one more on the way
  • Almost 50 walkers recruited.
  • $16,699.30 raised for T1D research from hundreds of donors!
  • 3 cruises.
  • 5 Wedding Anniversary Trips.
  • 10 Indycar races 
  • 1 Diabetes unConference.
  • 1 radio show.
  • A community of my peeps. 
  • Countless laughter.
  • Immense love.
  • So much pride.

I say “celebrate” because the last five years have truly been a gift.  Every single day has been a gift.  It’s been a gift to me.  It’s been a gift to my family. I hope it has been a gift to anyone my life and efforts have touched.

I’m so grateful to those before me that relentlessly raised funds and conducted research so that I can have these five years.  I’m so thankful that they didn’t give up on finding insulin.  It has been an absolute honor to benefit from better treatments and I am extremely hopeful for a cure.  I have to be.

I’m so stinkin excited for what the next 5 years have in store!

Cut the BS y’all! Much love.

How I Learned to Take Insulin Shots From ‘Always Sunny’


Did you see that episode of ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ when Mac decides to “cultivate mass” and ends up with Type 2 Diabetes?   Now please note that I am fully aware that type 2 diabetes doesn’t work that way nor does everyone find shows like ‘Always Sunny’ as funny as I do.   

I was still in my transition as a new person with Type One diabetes when I saw this episode.  Besides all the many ways this episode was inaccurate in how Mac handled life with diabetes as well as mishandling the tools involved with diabetes care, there was a scene that absolutely stood out to me.  

Mac and Dennis were sitting at a high top table at Paddy’s Pub talking about who knows what and eating chimichangas out of a garbage bag.  The table is stacked with food.  Mac with giant chimichanga in hand, without hesitation, jabs an insulin filled syringe into his bulging belly.  He then continues to eat and talk with his friend like nothing happened.  

At this point, I was still closing my eyes and my heart would sink into my tummy as I waited for my glucose number flash across the screen of my meter during checks.  I would also carefully select the spot of my next shot on my abdomen before I slowly stuck the needle in.  Well, duh, that would would hurt.  

What if I did it without hesitation? If Rob McElhenny, the actor who plays Mac, can plunge a syringe in his belly to get a laugh…then I can definitely do it to effing save my own life every day.  

My next scheduled shot was at around 10:00pm that evening.  “I’m gonna do it.” I thought to myself, determined.  I took out my Lanuts pen, screwed on my pen needle, cleaned my injection site, and jabbed.  I jabbed quickly and without hesitation.  Guess what?  It didn’t hurt.  I couldn’t believe it.  It was so quick in that I didn’t even notice the prick.  I pressed the button down, held it there for a few seconds, (I count to 8-it’s my favorite number) and removed it.  Success!

Who knew I would end up learning something about my diabetes care from dark comedy?  Who knew my sense of humor was sicker thank my pancreas and even more twisted than my sweet demeanor gives off? Who knew?  

I’ve been jabbing ever since.  Thanks Mac!  Cheers!


Rest In Sweet Peace Mary Tyler Moore

Mary Tyler Moore died today.  I knew I wanted to write something because she meant too much to me.  I couldn’t quite find the words so I began procrastinating by looking for images to use for this post.  Then I came across the quiz: Which “Mary Tyler Moore Show” character are you?  I already knew the answer, but I thought I’d enter my answers and get a confirmation from the gods at MeTV.com : I got Mary Richards.

 

No, I didn’t look like her.  No, I wasn’t an actress.  No, I wasn’t a trained dancer.  But so much of me can relate to the real Mary Richards – Mary Tyler Moore.  First of all, we both went to Immaculate Heart High School.  Yes, believe it or not, we both went to an all girl school and came out on the other side still smiling.

          

Next, Mary Tyler Moore provided me with role models that I wanted to be like when I grew up.  Through her role as Mary Richards and through the different shows produced by MTM Enterprises, her name and influence brought strong, articulate, intelligent, and funny female characters to life at a time that it just wasn’t common.  As a young woman in the 80’s, I tightly embraced the idea that I could be a TV producer or the mastermind behind a private investigating company like Remmington Steele.  Did I turn into any of those characters? No. But I knew I could if the desire struck.


Lastly, we were both diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes (T1D) in our early thirties. She was 33 and I was 32.  It wasn’t only the fact that she was diagnosed at 33 that amazed me about her.  It was what she was able to accomplish after that diagnosis.  The work she has done with the JDRF and the commitment she gave to our cause is nothing short of great and it’s something I will forever appreciate.  


Her transparency and honesty with how she lived her life with diabetes is an  inspiration to me and it helps me to live my best life with Type 1 Diabetes.  I only hope that I can help others in the same way she helped me.  Every day I celebrate little victories where I feel like I can  twirl around the throw my hat in the air like times when my blood sugars are in check.

So thank you, Mary Tyler Moore. Thank you for being a pioneer in television, female empowerment, and living a long, full, and eventful life with diabetes.   I now have hope that I can live well into my 80s.  I have been inspired and empowered by you to continue doing my own share of the work in volunteerism, fundraising, and advocacy with JDRF.  I will keep your spirit alive by working to “turn the world on with my smile” and continue the legacy of encouragement you began decades ago.  

I’ve Never Done This Before…The Diabetes Mistake I Made Today


This morning I made the epic mistake of taking my fast acting insulin, Humalog, in place of my long acting insulin, Lantus.

What does that mean?  It means that I have given myself an accidental overdose of insulin.  It means that I now have to consume 150 grams of carbohydrates this morning when I typically eat 25-60 or else I may suffer from extreme blood sugar lows that can result in shakiness, crankiness, coma, or death.  

Why this is so frustrating for me: My family had plans today.  I had plans today.  And now, we have to rearrange stuff because I’m not sure how my body will react.  In addition, I am making efforts to lose weight, exercise more, and be better at my eating.   I have to take added quick sugars to this morning’s meal.  Added sugars equals added calories.  In addition, because working out can lower my blood sugars, I will have to table my plans and wait out the result of my stupid mistake.  

Another frustrating thing, I just wasted about 20 units of precious insulin on a boo-boo. Costly.

I was making breakfast at the time.  Waffles.  So now I have added every syrup we have in the house and am drinking a glass of orange juice.

So when someone looks at a plate like this and labels it, diabetes, they may be right.  But this plate of sugary waffles will probably be what saves my life today.

Ok, I know that I will probably bounce back from this setback by lunch and can work out then.  I am just extremely frustrated with myself and quite frankly, I’m embarrassed that I’ve made this mistake.  (I’ve had diabetes for almost five years at the time of this post.)  

As embarrassed as I am to make this mistake, I cannot keep it a secret.  This is one of the many reasons I fundraise and work to bring awareness.  I know will be ok.  I know what I have to do to get myself to baseline.  But there are others out there who will not be ok due to these accidental overdoses and complications with diabetes treatment. 

I’m hopeful that one day I won’t have to worry about making mistakes like this.  

The First Time I Went Out to Eat With Diabetes

The First Time I Went Out to Eat With Diabetes


Actually, I went out to eat with my husband, Diabetes came along uninvited, the schmuck!

My husband and I have gone on mini-honeymoons for our anniversary every year since we got married.  Every year, we take turns surprising each other by picking the destination.  He took the odd years, I took the even years.  The year of my diagnosis, was an even year, and about 2 weeks after my diagnosis.   As apprehensive as I was to go, and as apprehensive as everyone else probably was, I had already booked our mini staycation. We were going.

We packed our bag.  That was the first time I experienced this feeling:

Big-Backpack_fb_31071.jpg

We checked and double checked for everything I would be needing. Insulin, pen needles, test strips, my meter, sharps container, alcohol pads, and one lancet. (Just kidding, that was when I changed the lancet every time, so I brought many lancets-I know better now!)  In hindsight, I highly recommend doing a staycation after diagnosis before your first huge trip-it gives you some peace of mind the second time around.

We kiss the girls goodbye and head to our hotel.  We check in and go to dinner.  Johnny Rockets and my mind starts to wander and get sad. “No, milkshake for me.” Sadface.  I was under the impression that I couldn’t have any carbs or the Diabetes Police would send me to Diabetes jail…oh wait, I’m already in Diabetes Jail not being about to eat any carbs. (Please excuse the sarcasm.).

We order, I probably got something along the lines of a burger, no bun, no cheese, a salad, and an unsweetened iced tea.  My husband promises me a few fries off of his plate.  I excuse myself to test my blood sugars in the bathroom.  My husband says I should just wash my hands and test at the table.  Really? At the table? What if people are watching me?  What if I gross people out? These are all thoughts that are going through my head.  He assures me that no one will stare.  Ok here goes.

I test my blood sugars and guess what?  No one cared.  No one noticed.  Everyone was so busy at their own tables to even care about what was going on at our BS checking table.  I worried about all that for nothing.  I’ve been testing my BS at the table ever since.

It’s been  years since this has happened, and I now know that I can order that milkshake if I want it as along as I dose myself with enough insulin.

I feel so fortunate that I have someone to champion for me even when it didn’t occur to me to champion for myself.  A huge thanks…about the size of that backpack from earlier to my husband!

Do you remember the first time you ate out with Diabetes?  What thoughts went through your mind? How did it go?

It’s my Diaversary

I felt particularly anxious yesterday and could not quite put my pricked finger on why.  I even tossed and turned until 2:00am before falling asleep and didnt’ know why.  It wasn’t until this morning when I realized the date: June 28th.  It’s my Diaversary, meaning it has been 4 years since I woke up in a hospital bed and was asked, “How long have you known you had diabetes?”  

For months, I was trying to figure out how I was going to celebrate this day.  Life then took over and I shifted my party plans.  I thought I would still want to party it up despite the fact that this day snuck up on me.  It was surprisingly somber for me, though.  Remembering this day 4 years ago took me to a dark, sad, and hopeless place.  I seemed to have been brought back to a place that I have fought so hard to keep behind me.  

That’s when I reached out to my dia-buddies via text message.  Of-course, I true Dia-badass fashion they came through for me.  I received virtual hugs, words of encouragement, and suggestions of our now traditional test strip shot.  Need a visual? Here you go:


After dinner, my husband took the girls swimming and as I watched my beautiful family happily jumping into the pool,  my eyes welled up with tears. “I’m so happy I’m here!!!” I thought to myself.  “I’m delighted I get to watch this and be a part of this, all of this!”  All the reasons why today is a day to celebrate came to me all at once.

  • I get to watch my girls continue to grow into the intelligent, creative, enterprising, and fun young women they are.
  • I get to continue to plan trips and plan a kick ass future with my husband, best friend, and hero.
  • I get to participate in research studies that help diabetes medicine and technologies move forward.
  • I still get to help others with Diabetes or Pre-diabetes by way of this blog, Team Cut the BS’s fundraising efforts, and just by being me.
  • I get to watch more Indycar Races and cheer for Charlie and Conor, so that children with diabetes can follow in their sweet and fast footsteps.
  • And I get the opportunity to experience much, much more!!!

With a new outlook on today, I took my friends up on their suggestions and poured myself a shot for all the insulin shots I’ve taken since June 28, 2012 (A loosely estimated 5,840 shots, probably more.)  Happy Diaversary to me. Cheers.  

One for the Soul

I was working as a greeter/brand ambassador at a tradeshow when I saw their CFO, this slightly older, but extremely glamorous and successful woman walk between the two showrooms drinking a glass of green juice.  This was my second season with them and so I felt a little more comformatble speaking with the higher ups of the company.  She walked by again snacking on something.  

“Lane, what healthy thing are you eating now?  I noticed you with your green juice earlier.”

She quietly opened her hand to reveal a colorful and tiny handful of…M&Ms.  She winked at me then graciously and equally glamorously said, 

“That was for the body, these are for the soul.” 

She then strolled into the next room to meet some international contacts of hers.  I almost felt like I was in a White Diamonds commercial with Elizabeth Taylor.  I stood there grinning, feeling like she had imparted some huge secret of the world, in our brief interaction.  I continued welcoming and  scanning in tradeshow attendees with a little more wisdom. 

I just loved that.  Something for the body, something for the soul.  I find that this is a great lesson in life and an even greater lesson in diabetes life.  

When we get newly diagnosed as people with diabetes, we face fears and stigmas of losing our vision, losing our kidney function, losing our limbs.  As a result, it is very easy to shut down, I know I did for a bit.  I don’t blame anyone else for shutting down either.  But if someone told me during those early days of diabetes learning, that I can still have something for the soul, things I like to call “shot worthy,” I wouldn’t have been as scared as I was of the life ahead of me.  I wouldn’t have tried to shield myself so hard from people who stay things like, “Should you be eating that?”  I could have confidently said, “Why yes, sweetheart, it’s for the soul. You should try it sometime.”

What an awesome rule to live by.  I sooooooooo want to to be her when I grow up!

  
What things do you do for the body? I’m more curious about what you do for the soul.  Tell us in the comments!