Month: May 2015

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AttituDe of GratituDe inSOULin

My second most memorable Long Beach Gran Prix!

In honor of this year’s Indy 500, I thought I’d finally post this blog I’ve been sitting on for 2 years!  This was the first Long beach Gran Prix I’d been to since I was diagnosed.  I’ve gone pretty much every year since 2003.  Here’s the post: 

I just had the most amazing weekend!

So, I’ve become quite the Indycar fan by association.  My husband was a huge fan when we met and he started going to the Long Beach Gran Prix 2000.  I started going shortly after in 2003.  Needless to say, I was very excited as it was my first race I attended since my diagnosis on June 28, 2012.  Going as a newly diagnosed T1D, you know I was there as a huge Charlie Kimball fan.  I was a fan of his before my diagnosis, but now it’s personal.

On Friday, we walked the pits, and I found Charlie Kimball’s pit box…so I had to get a picture while sporting my Super Duper Handy Dandy Novolog FlexPen!

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On Saturday, We went to the Indycar fan village where the Race with Insulin tent was up. There, I got to sign up for a chance to win a VIP trip for four to the final race of the year in Fontana, CA. After entering, I was able to sign this shell of Charlie’s car.  

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I love this guy.  I’m so happy, Ryan introduced me to this sport.

As I was there talking to the Novo Nordisk people, I told them that I was gonna come back for the Question and Answer Session with Charlie and have him sign my Novolog Flexpen. They told me that there would be a special line for Novolog Users and to see their marketing person to make sure I was in the right line!  Oh boy! Oh boy!

I was the only adult in the special VIP (Very Insulin-dependent Person) line that day!  I got to tell him my story of the fact that I had been diagnosed last year and that when they told me I had diabetes, I hoped I was prescribed Novolog so I can support Charlie even more!  The weekend I came home from the hospital after being diagnosed, Charlie drove to his first podium finish in Toronto.  He placed second.  I like to think he did for me.

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I had to make sure I took another picture after getting my Charlie swag!

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As always, it was a gret race day.  What made this one even better was at the end of the day, Ryan and I were able to sail away into the sunset with a great friend. 

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…And then this happened…about a month later!  I thought they skipped my part since they showed Charlie with all the kids that day but, nope, check for this Cut the BS Girl’s story at 13:14!

Some of you may be wondering what my most memorable Long Beach Gran Prix is.  It was in 2003 when I got engaged to the most amazing man after the race! I’ve been quite the fan ever since.  The only two Long Beach Gran Prix I’ve missed are the years we welcomed our daughters into the world.  

  

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My Diabetes Personified

Go figure: Friday came along, I blinked, and Diabetes Blog Week was over.  I want to thank Karen Graffeo of www.bittersweetdiabetes.com for organizing this and bringing me back to blogging.  It really is something that I enjoy and I hope those of you who read Cut the BS…I mean Blood Sugar can tell.  

I was in the process of writing this post and I still would love to share it with you, so here it is:

Today’s post was supposed to be about food.  I’ve posted about food before and I will post about food again so I decided to write about one of the wildcard topics.  It asks me to personify my diabetes.  

As much as I’d like to call my Diabetes every horrible name in the book, I recall  referring to myself as a D-Toddler at the Diabetes unConference in Las Vegas this year.  The more I think about it the more  I find that is a better personification of my Diabetes.  For me, it’s like having an additional child.  

I’m a mother of two young women, both under the age of ten, and I find that in being a parent, my husband and I have to take the lead and make decisions for them.  I can’t expect my diabetes to take care of itself.  I have to keep a watchful eye on my diabetes, just like my girls.  It is my responsiblity if my girls hurt themselves because I did not set boudaries or check in with them soon enough.  It is my responsibility if one of my girls end up with her head between the stair railings or my blood sugars get too high and it is my responsibilty to get her head out of there or get my blood sugar back to a healthy range.  Luckily, no one’s ever gotten her head stuck between the railings at our house. 

Similarly to having a child, having diabetes takes some getting used to.  With time, I’ve gotten the hang of it and can roll with the punches.  Diabetes has it’s routines just like babies and toddlers have their routines and by the time I get used to the routines, the children and the diabetes change on me and I have to adapt.  There are fears and frustrations upon being a parent, but there are also little joys and victories like the first time all of us slept through the night or the times I make changes in my treatment and it happens to work.  Both have resulted in funky victory dance.

Differences?

The difference is my children will eventually grow up and make decisions of thier own based on their experiences in life.  My diabetes will always depend on me to make decisions to keep both of us in line.  I know that there are devices and surgical procedures in the works that might make decisions for me in the future, but my body will never correct itself or appologize when we are not in agreement.  My daughters and I have already corrected ourselvs and appologized to each other countless times in my tenure as a mother.  Diabetes will always be a part of me just like my girls are, but I will probably never love my Diabetes and I doubt that I will ever be proud of my Diabetes.  Needless to say, but I will, I very much love my girls and my husband and am very proud of every accomplishment they make along the way. 

My relationship with my diabetes has evolved, just like my relationship with my girls.  And through the years, it will continue to evolve.  But some things will always remain: I will always be Mom and I will always be a Person with Diabetes.

  

Click for the Diabetes Personified Wildcard Link List.

If you could personify your diabetes or that of your loved one, what would it be like?  What would it look like, what would it say, what kind of personality would it have?  Use your imagination and feel free to use images, drawings, words, music, etc. to describe it.  (Thank you Reva of Type ONEderful for this topic suggestion.) 

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Diabetes Blog Week 2015 Day 4: Got any change???

I found myself running low on time today, but I seeing as I have recieved a surprising amount of feedback from friends, aquaintances, and people I don’t even know, I thought I’d keep the momentum going.  I even began a post for other blogs that I work on that don’t have anything to do with Diabetes. Yay blogging!

Anyhow, today’s subject is change.

What would I most like to see change about diabetes?  Hmmmm let’s see, besides its exsistence?  I’m gonna go with yesterday’s theme…less pricks in my life, please!

At my last appointment, my endo and I were talking and in her opinion, if checking blood sugars was not so uncomforatable, we’d do it more often.  I agree.  If you asked anyone to choose between checking their blood sugar or their blood pressure, I’m sure more people would pick a tight little hug in the arm than a poke in the finger.  Anyone interested in checking their BS by using a Google Contact Lense? I know I am! 

The same goes for taking insulin.  I am pretty much at a point where I’m fine with MDI (Multiple Daily Injections) over the use of an insulin pump.  But with with the growing popularity of Afrezza® and longer lasting long acting insulins, I’m optimistic that this is only the beinning. I wouldn’t be surprised to see other phamaceutical companies coming out with their own versions non-injecting insulin, maybe to the point of making generic versions, bringing down price. Ok, now I’m just getting too excited…need to “simmer down now.”

For those of your who won’t be blogging this week, I’d still love to hear your thoughts on this, maybe in comments?

    Today’s Prompt:

    Click for the Changes – Thursday 5/14 Link List.

    Today let’s talk about changes, in one of two ways.  Either tell us what you’d most like to see change about diabetes, in any way.  This can be management tools, devices, medications, people’s perceptions, your own feelings – anything at all that you feel could use changing.  OR reflect back on some changes you or your loved one has seen or been through since being diagnosed with diabetes.  Were they expected or did they surprise you?

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    Diabetes Blog Week 2015 Day 3: Clean it Out, Girl!

    I’m trying to think of what I can clean out this week…I find myself a little emotionally raw from yesterday’s post so I’m gonna look for something that I physically hang on to.  I can’t imagine finding something that I phycially hang on to as something that is gonna set me off.

    I decided to look at my supply shelf and realize that I am a sharps container hoarder. There I said it.  I don’t know why this is.  I must have like 5 of them and two on reserve still in the boxes they came in.  None of them are full..well maybe one of them is full.  I don’t know why I accumulate so many or feel the need to have multiple back up containers.  Should I get rid of them? Absolutely, what’s the use in hanging on to these things, well except to collect lancets, syringes, and pen needles?

    Is it me or are these sharps containers like little plastic piggy banks for all my pokey devices?  At least a piggy bank will buy me a beer when its full.  The only thing a sharps container gives me when its full is the problem of disposing of it and the neccessity for a new one.

    Oh little platic boxes that hold my pointy thingys…thank you for being there for me and helping me get rid of the pricks in my life. 🙂

     

    Cut the BS girl talks about what Diabetes thing she's been hanging on to.
    Like my homage to being from the westside?
     


    Today’s Prompt:

    Click for the Clean it Out – Wednesday 5/13 Link List.

    Yesterday we kept stuff in, so today let’s clear stuff out.  What is in your diabetic closet that needs to be cleaned out?  This can be an actual physical belonging, or it can be something you’re mentally or emotionally hanging on to.  Why are you keeping it and why do you need to get rid of it?  (Thank you Rick of RA Diabetes for this topic suggestion.)

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    Diabetes Blog Week 2015 Day 2: Keep it to Yourself

    People who know me know that I am generally a happy person.  Upon meeting people, I am smiling, cracking jokes, even making myself the butt of jokes just to make others feel comfortable around me.  I work on being a sunshiny person with rose colored lenses. (I love pink!) 

    So, it is really a challenge for me to share this next post because it asks me to reflect on the types of stories you may not read from me for one reason or another.  Here goes:

    I have a feeling you will not hear about the times when Diabetes just really gets me down.  I’m not talking about,   “Oh, I had a bad reading on my meter.” or “That last lancet really hurt!” down…more like Breakfast at Tiffany’s when Holly Golightly describes “The Mean Reds”.  I will probably not write about the times, when my optimism, inspiration and hope run slim.  Why? It is not really what I am about.  I feel no need to bring anyone down with me when I am there.  And most times, there just are no words to describe that place I find myself sometimes-even after only 3 years of diagnosis.  

    Honestly, I believe it is enough to let you know I have those moments of darkness.

    And so onward and upward, I will leave you with something that helps me when I just have no words.  The words of the famous Charlie Chaplin:

    Smile, though your heart is aching
    Smile, even though it’s breaking
    When there are clouds in the sky
    you’ll get by
    If you smile through your fear and sorrow
    Smile and maybe tomorrow
    You’ll see the sun come shining through
    for you
    Light up your face with gladness
    Hide every trace of sadness Although a tear may be ever so near
    That’s the time you must keep on trying
    Smile what’s the use of crying
    You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
    If you’ll just
    Smile


    Today’s Prompt:

    Click for the Keep it to Yourself – Tuesday 5/12 Link List.

    Many of us share lots of aspects of our diabetes lives online for the world to see.  What are some of the aspects of diabetes that you choose to keep private from the internet?  Or from your family and friends?  Why is it important to keep it to yourself?  (This is not an attempt to get you out of your comfort zone.  There is no need to elaborate or tell personal stories related to these aspects.  Simply let us know what kinds of stories we will never hear you tell, and why you won’t tell them.) (Thank you Scott E of Rolling in the D for this topic.)

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    AttituDe of GratituDe inSOULin

    Diabetes Blog Week 2015 Day 1: I Can

    Ideas have been floating in my mind about how I was going to start this week’s series of blogs.  This is my first Diabetes Blog Week, and honestly, I’m a little nervous.  How am I going to knock it out of the park?  

    I thought about listing all the things I have been able to do since I was diagnosed.  I thought about the fact that after I got home from a week long stay at the hospital, my muscles had weakend and I couldn’t even get up the stairs without crying. And how with determination, I am now able to run up and down those stairs daily.  I thought about talking about my first time eating out at a restaurant with my husband and diabetes and how his encouragement of not being ashamed to check my blood sugars in public and take my insulin in public has given me the strength to be able to do so many other things with him, our girls, and diabetes.  I thought about all the places we have travelled to since then and the people with diabetes I’ve met along the way.  I thought about talking about my JDRF walk team #teamcuttheBS and how much we’ve raised together and how proud I am of the work we’ve done. 

    Today’s post is meant to talk about something that I am proud of accomplishing.  And as proud as I am of all these things, nothing beats the text, email, or private message from one of my friends online who has been struggling with the notion of even checking his/her blood sugars.  When I get that message from someone after they see a post of my meter that reads 238mg/dl asking me how I responded or the message that says, “I checked mine today too!”  Or “I found my meter, I can start checking again.”  Or the beer someone bought me because she was no longer “pre-diabetic.”  I’d say those are the accomplishments I find most dear.  

    Why? Because until I sat in a room where everyone else checked their blood sugars, every time I checked my blood sugar, I felt alone.  I find it impossible that I am the only person to feel this way.  Why did I feel alone? No one else had to do it, no one else really had to react at the number that comes up (unless it’s super low and I’m passed out on the floor,) and no one else around feels the guilt I do when the number is “out of range” high or low. Loneliness sucks and I wish it on no one.

    If I can help someone to find the strength in themselves, to get out that effing meter, prick themselves and brave whatever number flashes on that screen, then I have it it me to do anything.